Are you kidding me?

how ignorant do you think i am?

do i seem to have an addictive personality?

I drink and smoke cigarettes.

thats all i do.

ive had pot before me and wasted it so i didnt have to smoke it.

I dont care for drugs. cheezy as line but im high on life.

im insane enough to find everything hysterical.

why would i need drugs.

they compare me to the extended family. and look at what they grew up with! drugs and violence and broken homes! you move us out the suburbs to stay away from that.

for that i thank you.

but you being so scared of everything is making me panic, makes me 'lash out'

makes me want to crave the drugs and idiotic moments they had.

but ill never do it, i know it.

i dont understand.

yes i fucked up once.

but why continue to live in fear of the monster i might become.

if ive never even meet those demons.

im a monster but pocket size it fits into this scene.

its not a demon.

i have no demons.

i have pocket sized monsters.

its called American spirit and liquor.

i can control them.

tell me when have i been out of control with them?!

i know when to quit.

please stop living in fear of what i might become.

let me be me and embrace it.

i know when to stop and when ive had enough.

stop being a drama queen.

Phew....


im trying to be honest


but i feel like im walking on eggshells

please please

dont blow up in my face


im trying not to lie as much as i would

its called being 98% honest

cuz 2% of the time you need to twist it alil ;D


was honest with one... now with the other =X

hmm

odd

for once I dont feel lost.
I'm okay where my life is at.

I'm happy.

I'm finally enjoying each day as it comes with the ups and downs.

just need to enjoy the ride

so 21

doesnt seem so bad

adonde vaz?
what r u doing?
seem to always in this fucken circle
get out of this fucken rut
just run
escape
snap
awake
some day.

i dont get
been threw all this shit
and over this its over
whatever
oh well
like always gotta say FUCK IT
maybe tomorrow will be better
n closer to a better life

honesty
oh fuck how i would love to
but you cant handle i got in mind
it would destroy too much
and destruction is what i know best
reparation is hard to do
when all you can do is destroy


just pretend nothing was said
nothing happened
just slowly walk away
with a slightly panicked heart
raising pulse
throbbing
your not nervous
im not worried
fake
fake it til you make it


nothing makes sense of what you have read
simply because it only makes sense if you where in my head
ha i write this last section like if someone where to read this,
no one will
and im okay with that

its nice to know what races threw my head can go somewhere else besides my own mind

Life and Death
Where do we go beyond the grave?
We dont know, "God only knows"
Who are you oh mighty god?!
Why are we soo much lesser to blindly follow words other claim are yours.
"Forgive me father but I have sinned"

ill die some day,
So today ill take a cig.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dush, Beer and Rum, Tequila all day

do you ever lie awake wondering why?
why do you do this to your self?
how can this be?
where can you go?

stop

you over analysis your life too much

too many moments, nights just laying awake with no other thoughts in mind