I knew

I knew something was fishy. But I wasn't sure. I kept looking for answers. And I found what I was snooping for. I knew all to well this was going on. The lies. The insincerity.

I knew. But how to I walk away. Just cut the cord? And pretend it never happened? Ok. I can pretend like nothing happened. I'll get over it. I'll just store it in a box. And never look at it again.

Just walk away.

Its time.

Its time for me to start my video vlogging again! We'll party til the sun comes up ^_^ :D

Write me a song about better times. The nights we would see the sun rise. Where we drank til we couldn't move. Smoked your self silly. Laughed your self til you almost peed. Write me a song about better times.

"Its Friday night, your at home, and all you can ask is where did everyone go?!"

It all has gone away, With the money, the drugs, the alcohol, the fun. Its all gone.

Everything is better with time they said, but all that has happened everything has gone down the drain. 

Back to blank

I feel like going on an adventure Tonight.
An endless drive to self discovery. Seeing it threw someone else's eyes.
Singing to the songs that my heart no longer feels.
Because I'm blank.
Back to the self defense mood.

The choices.Stay sober. Drink it up. Smoke the cigs n drive until your out of gas. I might need to run away and find myself again. It took me so long to get here. Now I'm as lost as i could possibly be.

Complaint

I complained to my boss that i needed a day off working at this place. If i worked one more day i would end the world! He replied think of all the money your making. 

I quickly became saddened and thought back to the money used to make just standing around. I need to move my butt n improve my life.

Every time i go somewhere
I think how better my life can be.
Then i think of the amazing things I've seen. And how much it would take for me to be on that path.
Then i get distracted by my day to day bullshit.
I wish I was on a path to a better place. I'm so blinded by looking back when I'm driving forward.
I get lost in the meaningless details. I wish I wouldn't dwell on stupid shit.
I wish I was someone else.
I wish I wouldnt let things knock me down.
I miss me.