Impulsive

I'm an impulsive buyer.
and at the end of week 2 im dying to get my paycheck.
I can never go somewhere n be like "no i dont need it" i always give myself an excuse to buy something.

time drive before car meggedon

Body modification

Tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery
I personally only want tattoos.
-Raven on a Skull
-Tiger
-Portrait of my grandma
-"live to die"
that's all i want as of now.
tattoos are amazing art pieces when done right, but so easily can go terribly wrong.
Yes, I only have one tattoo as of now.
but i love the spider i got, so many people always complement it, Yeah i totally believe it was worth the money i payed
I dont think going cheap on the price is worth the work, cuz buddy your getting what you payed for. do u really want a shitty portrait of ur dead mom on u for the rest of ur life? yeah yeah you CAN remove it, but is the painful persigure of lazering off work you COULD have gotten well done piece from the start really worth it? shit a few extra bucks just might be worth it from the start.
All im saying is DO NOT cheap out when it comes to tattoos. A tattoo is a part of you. You want it to say the right kind of FUCK YOU to the world.
Do the research, pay the price for a decent piece, it really sucks when im looking at peoples work n all i say "oh wow thats really cool" and all im thinking "omg thats a train reck was the tattoo blindfolded while they did the piece!?" Just dont go to you friends friends cousins back room tattoo "shop" which is a dark room with a sofa. Thats a shady place, thats a shady piece.
Back in high school this Hoe, yeah Hoe, got a a fucken playboy Bunny on her back right ontop of her ass, see thats why i said Hoe. She got it for 20 bucks at a party while drunk. [TRAIN RECK!] two days after getting the piece she had to hospitalized, Why? because it got infected turns out the needle was used on a few other people. After getting testing, and giving a shit load of medications it heald up. damn the poor tattoo didnt see it coming it was patching and disgusting. Moral of that little story is DON'T CHEAP OUT and watch the enviorment where you getting your work done.
Do they wear gloves?
Do they change them often?
Did they open the neddle packege infront of you?
did they use disposible ink holders for the ink they where using on you?
did the machine get new plastic?
Did they proberly throw away your needle?

I promised to never grow up.
But i already grew up.
Now i just need to get these bills in order.
With adulthood comes responsibility,
Im so young, and all i see myself doing is jumping.
jumping from a tall place n feeling the wind.
not too a suicide drop but to an adrenaline jump

To a new day

To a new day we say hello
To the new air to the new ways,
but do we ever really say goodbye to the old you?
Death come n goes, everyone leaves even if they dont want to,
This is life
Here's to a new day, What will come of tomorrow?
New life? another death? Another amazement? Another disaster?
Who knows, we will only know when we wake up for the new day...if we do

At least I showed up

"At least I showed up to class today"
My effort for my education is gone.
I know it, I can feel it.
I lost my motivation.
Did I ever really have a motivation?
What got me threw school in my earlier stage?
Knowing that it was all going to be over.
But it never stops, I already want to live my life how I want, I'm sick of 'the man' breathing down my throat telling me, asking me "what are you going to do with your life?!" "your only 20 whats your life plan?" "where the fuck is my result?"
I'm not a fucken scratch n sniff where u get instant results.
back off.
every day is new with the same routine.
Life is getting boring again, well at least for me, but i don't have time or MONEY for anything else.

So much damn potential but too little options. I'm twenty years old, go to school part time and work part time. I feel like I'm already hitting the wall looking for the gap to jump threw.

We go to school since the time of what 5 years old. We are thought colors, our alphabet, simple numbers. We learn silly songs its all for a reason, to simulate our brains. later we go on to grade school year after year. Middle school is the awkward stage in our life where we notice the clicks and who has boobs and who can grow two hairs on there upper lip, or for the most part that was my middle school and it all slides over to High school. Oh high school how so many adults look back and always would say "it goes by in an instant, enjoy it!" I like to think I managed to enjoy it, But i enjoyed it for the wrong reasons.
As always "your fucking up Brenda, your fucking up," was something i heard and am quite familiar with. Man that should be a catch phrase for people around me, cuz i hear it so damn often. Any ways High school, Is where i should have worked hard, pushed my self and gotten somewhere better by now. But as i am a slacker, i took the easy way, show up at school and do the bear minimum. Hey all i wanted to do was get my High School diploma, That wasnt hard to get all You honestly need to is show up

.......To be continued

Lets run away

Lets pack our shit and runaway to New York City
The city that never sleeps!
Its my Paris, Its my dream to be there some day.

Reinvent the way you think, redo you life, start a new day, breath new air
do something new, time to jump off this plane. Take a moment, snap out, move on, move out, its time, lets just go!
Whats holding you back?.....
Me
life
time
money
survival
economy
everyone
everything
sigh
Whats out there? Is What I'm living even life?
Are we suppose to Live like this? Go day to day, Breath to breath, Bill to bill, Emptiness to sadness

When?
When will I live?
My own life, I need the escape to a carefree zone, But there is no such life.
To be human you must care to some degree.

unfinished thoughts