" todos tenemos que vivir para mañana. pero si mañana no viene? que hacemos?"

"We all have to live for tomorrow, but what if tomorrow doesn't come? what do we do?"

Recently a young man i once knew was killed in a stabbing. I don't exactly know what happened but his death made me think. I've always lived a sheltered life. I don't pay attention to the crime in my city because, yes its good to be informed but why would i want to live in fear so i just simply rather not hear it. But when its all over myspace and facebook u cant help but to get informed trying to sniff out what happened.

Crazy shit happenes in one nite. We find a person well be long time friends with. We realize what friends are truely true to us. We may lose or gain a friend in one nite. we may discover what is to become of us if we continue on our paths. simply said Shit happens!

rawrrrr im stuck on what to say tralalalala

I always fear one of my loves ones is going to die, yes im usually thinking about it. I don't know why but I do. is that normal? to think about death on a daily biases? I think it is since its always around us. How can u not think about it? its always staring us in the effen face! >.<

I get goosebumps thinking of which friend or family member will go 1st. Will i make it to my 19th bday? that is only 11 days away. Its a sad morbid subject but i cant help it.

We have to live for tomorrow but will tomorrow will come? what will happen to our loved ones if we dont make it tomorrow? what will they do at my funeral? will i be remember in a good light? will i be remembered as a bitch? will i be remember as the caring friend? Did i have a good run? did i live up to all i could live to? could i have done more?

I cant get it out of my head that i know. no knew! someone that is no longer breathing the same air i do. its sad to know they have taken their last breath. there last glimpse of the world, and those last moments probably where not the best images to leave with.

Im not a morning person!

So yesterday morning i slept over @ my brothers house. and my one and only niece is a FUCKEN EARLY BIRD! she woke me up @ 6:45 am because i slept on the couch and my sister-in-laws day care kids where going to get dropped off. So i went to sleep in her room, on her bed. 15 minutes later "brendies wake up!" i was pissed! I truelly dont know what i told her. i feel back asleep. im going to assume it was 8:08 and once again "brendies wake up! we need to get ready to go to the pool!" 10 minutes later. "brenda we arent going to the pool cuz .........." i was gone. 9something again i was bothered to wake up. then finally my siter-in-law told my niece to leave me alone. fucken kid even told me i had text messages. -_-

finally i was bothered to wake up @ 10:47 am. i had to go help with the kids. i hate mornings like most people i know =]. but point is i hate mornings idk where im going with this it has lost my attention xD freaking Get Set Go! i LOVE THIS BAND check em out. oh i rembered the point inthis beside venting. The more i get botherd to wake up early by a human the more i sleep in. Do u do this?? umm ist my 1st official blog, hope this isnt another YOUTUBE failer redo xD that for another day. well im tired, have an awesome day!! PEACE!

-bip

A Man came into the Store

Today, the only fucken day, I work. [I know terrible.] I had an elder gentlemen come into the store; He asked where the owners where at. I replied an told him that they where off at mass a.k.a. Church. He laughed and said a few thing in broken English. After, he went on to say, "When your young, you don't care about religion; But once your my age you start going back to church".

This old man [lol] got me thinking. Do even us Agnostic and Atheist people end up attaching ourselves to a so called religion? I was raised going to mass every Sunday. My mom would make me wear puffy bright dresses. My brothers would wear dressy clothes. My whole family would dress up just to go to church. Religion was forced on me. I as a kid or a "sinner," I would take a nice one hour naps during mass. I hated Sunday because we would just there and be quite. I never understood the point of it.

Growing up in a Mexican family that practiced Roman Catholic beliefs was truly an adventure. I was baptized and even did my first communion. My parents tried to make me do my conformation; but i never conformed to the the Catholic beliefs. I believe since i was about 9 or 10 i decided that Organized religion wasn't for me. Around that age in public school u learn about other cultures religious beliefs.

I learned that Catholicism wasn't the only religion around me. The religion that mostly stuck with me was Buddhism. Learning about Karma and reincarnation that was soo amazing. Ever since then i questioned the power of the "catholic god." I can remember being excited to tell my mother about what cool things I learned at school. The wonderful beliefs others had! to be turned down and shunned. Criticized for thinking differently. My ideas where crazy and insane. I was stupid.

From this day one i learned Religion was a touchy subject in my household. But this makes me wonder did my parents ever so call "rebel" about there religious preferences?? or they where never given a chance because the both grew up in strict catholic homes in Mexico. Where you must assimilate or be shun. Ha! the irony. But being born and raised In the USA Ive learned from other people's ideology to be different is good. To go against the current may not always be right but it can be done.

Will i ever change my mind about religion? Will i become more "spiritual?" Will become a "devoted follower?"

Honestly I believe religious people NEED a higher POWER in there life. Because if they dont they probably will turn to drugs or other addictions. God because there NEW addiction. I like to think i have enought self control to look away from "temptations"........................


shall continue later again =X