1 day n a 1/2 til the year is over.
AWESOME!
I'm always pumped for a new year, but bringing in 2010 i know i wasn't
For 20-11. I'm ready to get blown away with these winds we're having!
I'm feel like im finally motivated and ready to move on to a New Chapter in my life.
Shit went down the drain in 2010, its time for me to unclog the pipes n let the water flow.
Again like about a year ago I wrote, I rewrite "I'm going back to school, I'm excited."
Hopefully I don't screw this up like last time! n the time before that.
This Time I'm going into the the New year with a Job and school packed in backpack lol.
and maybe this time i won't bring in the new year with an over drafted back account! Here's to hoping for change and welcoming it into my doorstep.

I realize today I know where i want to go.
Where i want to be.
I want to go to New York and explore.
I dont know what i want to do with my life but i know i want to go there

I got my tree :)

On my way to work

Jingle bells Jingle Bells.
Its here again!
and its just as depressing as a funeral....
i mean a MEXICAN FUNERAL
lol
where people cry for loved ones passed and everyone laugh at the latest joke

Every 3-5 years

"everything" gets a 'New look, a new outlook' every 3-5 years.
Its all the same with a new face, a new sticker on the product
"New look, same great taste"
As humans we learn to love what seems familiar.
Whats comfortable.
2000 came in with a bang with EMO HAIR and Marching band Uniforms.
That died down by 2007.
2008 we got a new rise.... of "Robert Pattison and Justin Beiber hair" also plaid shirts oh and HOODIES!
but u can't say no to those two fashion trends!!!
You need to give in, because you want stand out in a crowd of 20, but blend in a crowd of 20 thousand.
we are all individuals with "different ideas" we all "think outside the box."
then by the end of the day we realize some had thought of that long before you.
You just the balls to stand up and say it.
every 3-5 years Hollywood has a new trend, has the new it thing, the new MUST HAVE, the Must SEE, YOU MUST BECOME, or you die in your isolation, get crushed in your difference.

Two more days and its December

Where did my days go?
When did '10 Go into over drive?
in a Blink of an eye the months flew by.
our birthdays came and went.
Now Life doesn't slow down.
You need to run with the speed its gone.
Don't wake your self to the end of time, Wake your self now.
Enjoy today, forget yesterday.
Live in the moment, cuz the years from now, you won't know were you where today.
Maybe tonite, that change you've been wanting and waiting for will happened.
But Probably it won't.
Unless you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Lets run away, have the adventure of our life time!! =]

Sick sky

"Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labour, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity."
By Emily Dickinson

I miss English class in a way.
I miss being in class.
I'm so excited for school to come.
WOOO FOR NOVEMBER 17 I get to freaken know when I can register.
My life will finally be on some sort of track.
Its time for me to stop wondering around thinking about what I will do tomorrow.
And do something TODAY!
on that know I'm off to take care of some business.

So I'm unappreciative.
I'm okay with that,
I don't feel anything for present time expect for laughter and annoyed.
how odd fear and sadness are hard emotions for me to come by.
i seem to be back at my usual feeling of "BLANKNESS"
Do you, believe to know me?
Come on I don't even know myself. and I've been myself now 20 years now.
All i know is that i claim to be impulsive but my gut usually knows whats right and wrong so i guess I'm not as impulsive as i though.
I get annoyed easily. but angered as you perceive me i don't believe is correct.
Annoyances and anger are two different things to me. I may be wrong on that but thats how I see it.

Fuck u traffic on the fwy =.=

Whats for dinner? PB 'N J =D

"Give me treats please!!"

Just One Item.
One Item can hold SO many memories for us.
Its Lovely to know i FINALLY have my Simba back =]
Thanks to my mommy finally finding him.
I May not remember much, Specially of my child hood, but when i have my little Simba i feel complete.
What an odd thing to say about an OBJECT.
But i do, It reminds me of my child hood friends.
Of the games we would play.
oh the way my grandma would play with both Simba and I.
=]
I may be crazy, but i swear i see him simile.
Yeah I'm crazy! I see a damn stuff animal smile that is SHIT! OVER 15 years old
holly fawk.
Wh'ell aren't I getting old.
rable rable.
My house is too quite.
it hasn't even been a day.
I wonder what Fuck ups i'll do while my parents are away.
well sorry to ramble, n umm sorry for this not being deep or something rather.

From 13" Screen to a 48" screen <3

Batman is dead =(

wide awake.
to many things going threw my head.
I need. I want.
all i ever say,
but i never do any thing about it, i just stay here pessimistically waiting for opportunity to jump out and yell at me.
that isn't going to happen i know.
but i like to pretend I'm going to do something, makes me look good.
until they realize I'm just lazy, scared, unable to move to do anything.
I need to be the me who i pretend to be.
the super hero i always wanted to be.
I want to succeed. but how am if i don't have a plan.
i wish i could give up on winging it.
sticking to a plan, but i don't have enough disciple.
Good nite, good bye. to this foggy morning.
I'll what the sun has in store for me

Time to say goodbye to the body. keep the memories in a pocket of ur mind. say hello to familiar faces. wonder where time has taken us. funerals they unite us for morbid situations. they destroy the weak hearted. with your death please don't take my soul. we will continue until we enter the other realm til then hold ur breath.

i had champurado. the cup kept hitting my face -.- LOL

Traffic for work wooo

GIRL DOG TRYING TO HUMP THE BOY DOG XD

Todd

FIRE!

Pathetic

I found my Year book from '08
OVER HALF THE PEOPLE WHO SIGNED i dont even talk to anymore

WOW
thats horrid.

o.o
like maybe of all the people who actually signed it i only speak to about a good hand full of them

fawk where did i go wrong.

hell

Do you ever feel like running away?
like taking everything you own and just take off!
travel the world, doing odd jobs!
Live out of a suitcase!

I am always wonder if i'll ever get the balls to do that.
Will i?
Will i find what i want if AND when i leave?
One day i wish to go to the airport buy a flight ticket
"ONE WAY TO NEW YORK (JFK) AIRPORT PLEASE!"
something about the city calls to me.
not the lights
something else.
i think its the IDEA of "THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS"
oh how i WOULD love if im hungry at 3 in the damn morning i can go out and grab a bite to eat.
how if i want to watch a movie. I HOPE the movie theaters are open in the middle of the nite
just knowing the city is ALIVE WELL INTO THE MORNING sounds sooo awesome.
maybe some day i can do it.
maybe <3

breakfasts with my sister =)

Friend ships people aren't always perfect. its sad to see u think so much of people to only realise u are nothing to them

Some times I like to pretend that im a secret spy agent. lol i like to imagine what i would do in certain situations. i love to look at objects n imagen how they can be weapons. lol

i'm excited... Nov '10 Conan will have his show on TBS. then on Jan '11 Daniel Tosh aka tosh.0 will have a late nite show on there too. so TBS starting NOVEMBER will be the place for late nite cuz you can't forget they have the Mexican... George Lopez =] so no more crying for good late nite TV!!

i had never had a self esteem issue to where i felt depressed about who i am. until now, high school and even middle school i didn't give a shit about who i hung out with, what clothes i wore, or even the shape of my body.

but now, that Im so close to being 20, i find myself depressed about who i see before in the mirror. where did this backwards persona emerge from? now im being like everyone else, what i worried of becoming while in high school, i have become.

a regular girl with body image issues....

Beat my kittencannon.us score! =)

Mango chamoy raspado for $2.50 at Ro's Pure Water

Shoe "art

Shit happens.
Sometimes we wish our dreaded day was over quickly. When other times we can't bare to see it end.
Life is an endless cycle of unbalanced occurrences.
To survive you must fight. To move on we must fight.
You want to be better learn to evolved. To improve.
Life its self is a war zone.

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Broken dreams is what we're made of. One day we will fly high and then our wings will die.

=/ I feel like a horrible person. I don't want to be here now, I'm a fucken screw up. I fuck up everything for everyone. I wish things would go differently. But me wanting to help others just makes things worse for us. I'm sorry, But if I apologize you will destroy me even more.

I wish you would have the heart to say No to others, I will not "help" you anymore. I just seem to fuck everything up I have tried to help but no luck. I miss being a careless kid =/

how are we going to get through this

All that's guaranteed in life is Taxes and Death.

But I like to also add Debt!
We live in a time where you swipe the card.
don't see the bill,
pay the minimum payment.
3 years later after buying a 5,000 dollar TV
we wonder why we still owe so much.

The biggest mistake we can do is fall behind on our bills

fuck society

fuck the rules
fuck you

life is strange
life is simply
life is evil

life is good

where will we go when stars don't shine any more? What will we do? Will we still dream? Will we still aspire? Life is so endless in so many ways. But it begins over and over so often. Nothing is ever the same. Every breath. Every sigh. Is different.

I'M A QUITTER.
i was raised by quitters.
you become what you see.
i'm playing the victum card.
but most projects i start i quit.
my oldest brother quit college twice.
my other brother quit high school. and dont get me started on what he has failed to complete.
my mother tried to become a US citizen and failed for lack of.....
my father i belive failed to completly grasps the english language.
i was raised by quiters and i must fail to not stand out. i must lose my motivation. my insperation. lifes too complecated. ill find the easy way out. taking a job that has no heart but all it has is earge to be something else. and always searching for the time to relax. always streesing over what will come tomorrow.
no i dont want your life of example. yelling out of anger is not apart of the life i want. maybe i need a new life of example. ill grow up n be someone you didnt dream up for me. im sorry to disappoint but i have my own dreams to find.

I became a major screw up this semester. I let my emotions fog my vision. I allowed my self not to do anything productive for my self. I became so passive. I completly wish i could go back and shake my self awake. But that has passed. I can only look fwd. Hopefully after summer i have changed for the better. Hopefully i have a job. So i must become more responsible. Less passive. More motivated. Maybe I'll finally find what i need. Possibly I'll change. That is too much to ask for of just one summer. But maybe I'll finally grow up.

One more year.
One more summer.
We all say this time it'll will be different.
We will see things we have never seen.
We will do what we have never done.
We will RULE THE WORLD THIS SUMMER.


but summer is practically here.
what will we do?
the usual?
I assume, maybe this time we will conqueror.
To us we toast, to them we drink.
To you I say goodbye, to them I say hello.
What will we do for our summer?

I'm 19, and have no real hopes and dreams
I'm always dreading school.
My parents want me to find a job.
I really need the money.
I'm always broke.
I don't know what I want with my life.
I can do SOO much better but I have no motivation.
I'm the biggest hypocrite I know.
I don't care much for others.
But I'm always searching for validation.
My perfect day is staying in bed and doing nothing.
I'm a waste.
I feel like art is my future.
But I don't know what path to take.
I don't want to go to school.
It cost way to much money.
I don't want to be in dept.

Lotto is for dreamers

I Hope one day I'll be crazy and OLD.
but completely Zane.
My 87 year old grandma, would only wear her 10 year old {or older} glasses, when she was staring at her lotto tickets. She wanted to know how many scratchers failed her. When I feel "lucky" I go and get a scratcher, I Win a Dollar to maybe 5 bucks. Never have hit the JACKPOT yet. when i go to Disneyland and get a "tarot" card it always read "you will inherit a fortune."
I truly NOW believe I did. I Inherited my grandmother craziness AND I LOVE IT. So in her Honor I Believe in my life time I WILL win the lotto. Because I'm a dreamer just like you Abuelita. I will continue our dream. and blow my dollars away.

Rambles of my mind.

New month. New number.

But I still remember what happened a few weeks, days ago.
Its still fresh in the back of my mind.
I'll be silence and it crawls up on me.
Like the sun on the moon.
Time heals.
Time destroys.
Evey thing comes to an end.
Grim reaper please take me?
When its the Right moment in my life?
No its always tragic even when your begging for it.
When you no longer want to live, Your body shakes, for you to take your last breath and never release the air again.
Flesh color leaves your body.
Ghost white is your corpse.
They doll up your body.
That figure who lies before me is not her.
She is gone, Everything about her is not this corpse.

What was her Essences is gone.
All we have is memories.
Pictures.
Heart ache.
One day we all hope to reunite.
But, we'll see if that realm even exists.

Once upon a time we all live.
and then we all die.
the end.

I love you.
I miss you.
I'll continue my 'life' in your memory.

Happiness.
Sadness.
Madness.




Fucken awesome

Oh Childhood!

Wow... I'm watching NickToons

Ren and Stimpy are on.

Where they a gay couple??

So where they the 90's version of sponge bob? {sponge bob is a better cartoon}

OMG "i just love skinny splapping" this said by a naked male character
That earlier Ren and stimpy saw nakedly frolic toward them to skinny dip

This show and Ed, EDD and Eddy i fucken hated as a kid,

I HONESTLY think the animation bugged me!! its no nastily drawned.

BARF? Stimpy is licking a hairy man to make hair balls Cause ren is forcing. ren can sell the hair balls for a big profit.... i always knew i hated Chihuahuas xD

Yeah yeah its a fucken dark comedy.... but i love dark humor

Why the fuck dont i like it.... oh yeah cuz it sucks

stupid show

NO WONDER PEOPLE MY AGE ARE SOO STUPID

fuck you..............

Isolation. Sometimes we want that. I need that. I love to be alone. Silence is FUCKEN GOLDEN. You say i'm not reacting well. You say i'm pushing everyone away. Maybe i am. But im in a horrid situations...i need to push everyone. i need to find my feelings. because of who i am i cant cry before you. oh Anger how easy it is to feel you. You give us energy. Blank emotions are the front for every other emotion. its unknown how i feel. i'm not sorry for not letting you into my one person bubble. i dont feel like talking. i feel like dreaming. letting myself travel any where and never leaving. i dont want to speak for fear ill break. im not a talker. im an observer.

Leave me alone

Leave me alone.
Means LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
Seriously....shhh
leave

I WAS SLEEPING!
I DON'T FUCKEN GIVE A SHIT IF THEY WANT TO GO OR NOT!

for all I care. they didn't know her like I did.

='( I'm sorry,

I'm sorry for the kick, but i said leave me alone.

you kept insisting


Please leave me alone. I don't want to help. I'm not in the mood.
For all i care......they can die

CELL PHONE BLOG

ha ha ha. sooo funny. when your alive and well. no one even calls. but when your on your death bed everyone wants to see you. they want to hold your hand. and cry because they never will see you again. BULLSHIT!! why why don`t we all fucken appreciate you when they're all here. death either bring us together or splits us apart.

Need

I need to breath
Take in my own oxygen.
I need to avoid your carbon.
Breath on my own
No more machines.
No more tubes.
Stop the IV line
Those are your ideas.
I can live, I can breath on my own.
They mark my rate
Beeping to a new tomorrow.
Unplugged. I can count my own time.
I will fall but I need to crawl before I walk.
Its hard. Just let go.
Unplugg me. Please.
Say good bye, its time
I'll see you around some other day
Just not today.
Can I take a breath safely now?
Why do I ask. I can breath now.
We need to let go.

Haiku

The young woman cries,
yelps, gasping for air, her eyes
swollen red as blood

Ants

We are the ants to the gods! To the greater power.
They wipe away the bodies, but we multiply.
Our paths disappear cause of there oh-so mighty hand
We panic in fear trying to find the scent of our path.
We try to connect the paths as we panic,
but our siblings panic too.
As we calm down we find the path.
Our gods blow us away once again.
We relax & panic all over again.
They threaten us & our destinies.
We are the ants.

Wonder

I don't care how sick mad sad I am THEIR IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR LAUGHTER!

I'm worried.

I don't think she'll make it.

I'm so pessimistic.

I'm honestly waiting for the call.

For the day we will wear all black.

For me to make the call to ring in the favor.

To laugh with tears in my eyes

For pain in my heart.

I should just live today as it is, but i can't help to wonder.

WHEN!?

HA! when I speak in regards... I make my self sound:

So cold heated

So enraged.

So out of rage..........

I used to dream

I used to dream, when i was younger.
One day I would get recognized.
Held up by my left arm
Dangling
feeling being far from the floor.

Being praised for everything i had done.
I would be the best child
they had ever know
Dream
Make it bigger then you
Not just an image you would like
how did you get to that point?
signs are all around you. but you don't recognize them
Someday you'll get to that point.
Maybe when your old and brittle
you will be help up
But that dream one day will be realized
maybe
One day you'll need to be detached from everyone
create your own path
become you
NO one else
Stop trying to live someone else
You'll never be happy wearing someone else shoes
Buy your own shoes!
Stop taking in the images they believe in

Be your self

MBTI Poem:

You see the empty box of cereal

I see the Guitar it can be come.

When I can't make the choice

I flip the coin

while you weigh the options.

The coin may not

always get me the best choice

but I don't have to ponder more.

One day I'll be the super hero

I wanted to become

With my cape waving in the wind.